Joy and Grief

Choosing and studying a question helped me reflect on this past year and how to continue onward. The question “How can I find and feel joy through times of trouble and loss of a loved one?”, focuses on finding peace and understanding inner thoughts and feelings. I found myself engaged and applying the words of modern day prophets to my everyday life through the stories shared and discussed. “Suffering is universal; how we react to suffering is individual.” Your Sorrow Shall Be Turned to Joy by Robert D. Hales, for the sorrows remain inevitable but many reactions towards others and ourselves come from each challenge.

This past March my youngest brother, Eric, passed away. There’s not a defined line between time for grief and joy in these situations. Many situations involving the loss of a loved one have a variety of those experiences and a variety of people who are affected in different ways. In the past months, my mind has felt foggy at times about my understanding of myself and how I am truly doing. Somedays I’ve forgotten entirely about the situation, and other times I feel guilty for not feeling sorrowful. Of course God does not intend for us to remain overwhelmed with grief constantly, but at times I don’t know how to balance my thoughts of sadness with the surprisingly evident times of joy and happiness. Nevertheless, how might I control and understand my emotions, of sadness, love, and joy, to better understand myself?

To more fully understand this confusion of joy and grief, I found a beautiful talk entitled “The Healing Power of Grief” by Steven Eastmond. He states, “one can feel both sadness and peace at the same time,” this created understanding of God’s purpose and plan of grief and how it isn’t simply overwhelming sadness that can consume us from day to day. Later in the talk Brother Eastmond describes, “grief is the price we pay for loving someone- and that the price is worth it.” Although heartbreaking in some instances of hardship, grief keeps our memories full of experiences with the loved one and can bring peace. Christ’s knowledge of your specific challenges brings an opportunity to keep an understanding and active relationship with him. At times I take this knowledge for granted, but through faith and study to receive answers, my relationship yearns for a stronger friendship.

A quote found in Russell M. Nelson’s talk entitled Joy and Spiritual Survival, and further quoting Hebrews 2 he says, “As in all things, Jesus Christ is our ultimate exemplar, ‘who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.’ Think of that! In order for him to endure the most excruciating experience ever endured on earth, our Savior focused on joy!”

Another topic I’ve had in my mind is about the future and how to continue forward in challenges. The future contains countless opportunities, yet my mind wanders to family celebrations that Eric won’t be there for. Nevertheless, I haven’t found all the answers that are quite right for me in my specific times of need. Everything will work out if we rely on faith in Christ and find simple joys to brighten our lives. An understanding that the angels surrounding us from day to day are those who have passed on before, and we feel their presence and love for them continually.

I’ve experienced many small miracles which help to answer the small doubts and worries in my mind, and I would love to continue this study through talks written about comfort and joy through trials and loss. I hadn’t realized the abounding number of talks written on these topics, but realize everyone faces challenges in this modern day. God speaks through his prophets to strengthen us that we might return to him.

Live Laugh Love Life

Melissa Longhurst